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comment your colour and feelings xx
this is very true sometimes peope say just be positive and you won't feel so low and depressed but it’s not that easy just because i might be positive but I’m not gonna be happy all the time it's not as simple as being positive x
over the weekend I’m going to share how I would explain depression I’m going to share how I would explain all the mental illnesses I have and I’m gonna explain them in ways that you can understand there will be a few different explanations and I want people to really understand what it’s like because if you don’t have it then you can’t really understand it it’s hard to explain because everyone experiences it differently if you have any questions about it message me or comment x
I just wanna say if you do struggle with depression suicidal thoughts and self harm please message me comment post find someone to talk to because it it’s really hard to do it on your own I am getting help with my problems I’ve seen the doctors been to the hospital I’m not okay and I know that if you want me to post more about ways to stop self harm I can I haven’t stopped but these things might work for you that don’t work for other people it’s really hard when you live and you dint want to x
my depression has got a lot worse my therapist quit on me people found out about my self harming and I attempted suicide my brain has just been on a constant loop not knowing what the point of life is i’m not going to share how I see life because I don’t want others to fall into the same path I’m going down if I share it it might make other people think the same way which is not what I want I’ve been questioning everything when you just die in the end what’s the point why not speed up x
this last month has been hell it’s been so hard and everything sort of just got worse I don’t know I’m sharing this but I feel like it’s easy to share with with strangers or people that you don’t see every day so I can’t ask you every second are you okay what’s going on people that can’t tell your parents will tell your school when they already know people that can’t spread rumours lie about what’s happening and that’s you guys x i’m going to have to make a few posts but I really wanna share it
wow honestly the most relatable thing you guys all learn more about why this quote means so much to me when I get to share more of my mental health journey x
me everyday x
this is how I feel daily x
if only teachers understood this x
this is how I’m going to explain it to you a lot of people tell me be happy breathe calm down chillout take a break it’s not a big deal don’t worry about it it’s not that easy this is a great example of what people say when you’ve got a mental illness x
after I’ve just had part of my journey I want you guys to understand what it’s like for me with all my mental health problems x
i wish i would stop doing this I feel like i’m doing something wrong and every time I snap because of my depression or bipolar makes me act hyper what anxiety makes me worried and on edge I need to explain to people and apologise for the way I behave
have a think about this it's true x
this is what I have to go through every day sometimes it can be five in an hour in a normal day it will probably be about 60 panic attacks and then I’ll go to sleep probably have 50 more x my sleep schedule I go to sleep have a panic attack I wake up 🔄
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The reason little changes bother me is because I I think if you plan things bad things can’t happen and if it doesn’t go to plan something bad could happen going up with bad things happening all the time means now I try to avoid them at all costs and I never really connect with my emotions and realise that I joke around when I’m really actually upset or joke about things that are sensitive subject so I don’t have to show the emotions I pretend I’m some happy joking around confident person x
I had flashbacks and nightmares of the things that used to happen and I never realised all of my mental health problems until I started seeing a therapist I have never been in the control of my life and I fought for it but never got it that is why I like everything to be in control if it’s not in my control then it’s scary and it’s bad and I will freak out about it like the littlest things like an outfit not fitting and me needing to change my outfit x
i’ve always been anxious person I’ve always worried and stressed out I have been in hospital at a young age due to stress and my childhood was horrific the things that happened verry bad and people are shocked when they find out but I don’t feel comfortable saying them online I had a lot of death and grief in my family so at a young age i knew how It felt to be empty and sad as I was away from the person who made my life hell I was scared of people I struggle to cope with trauma from my past
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