Me and the battle of Mental health

Not all disabilities are visible

The reason little changes bother me is because I I think if you plan things bad things can’t happen and if it doesn’t go to plan something bad could happen going up with bad things happening all the time means now I try to avoid them at all costs and I never really connect with my emotions and realise that I joke around when I’m really actually upset or joke about things that are sensitive subject so I don’t have to show the emotions I pretend I’m some happy joking around confident person x